


i'm a little unsteady

by we_are_inevitable



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bittersweet Ending, Depression, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Jack Kelly Has Issues, Jack Needs a Hug, Just kind of though, Major Depressive Episode, Medication, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Parental Issues, Sad Jack Kelly, Supportive Katherine Pulitzer, anger issues, but it isnt Bad, it's sweet but also still kind of sad, nothing bad but he does snap at kath in one scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:13:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29101566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/we_are_inevitable/pseuds/we_are_inevitable
Summary: She knows how unpredictable Jack's mood could get without his medication, though Medda hadn't specified which he had run out of. If he had run out of his antidepressants, she was prepared to sit in a dark room and hold him until he was ready to talk. If he had run out of his anti-anxiety medication, she was prepared to sit in a dark room and hold him while he spilled his guts on everything that had been plaguing his mind for the past seventy-two hours.Either way, she’s ready for whatever is waiting for her behind that bedroom door.
Relationships: Jack Kelly/Katherine Plumber Pulitzer
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	i'm a little unsteady

**Author's Note:**

> hi i just really like jatherine ok thank u

Jack Kelly.

An enigma of a man; a secretive boy who wears his heart on his sleeve, an open book with missing pages, redacted paragraphs, words and phrases marked over with thick, black ink.

Jack’s a good man, yes. A good kid. Nearly nineteen, a senior in high school with a good future and even better dreams. He’s involved, too; he helps with the school newspaper and is the art club president, and he helps make sets for the drama department and decorates halls for homecoming and prom, and he does so, so much more. With his busy schedule, he can’t exactly afford to miss school.

However, one Monday, Jack doesn’t meet Katherine before school, and he isn’t in their third hour Senior Seminar class.

On Tuesday, he’s not at the diner they meet at for breakfast twice a week.

On Wednesday, he’s not at the Student Council meeting during lunch.

Of course, this is concerning for Katherine. Her boyfriend, her _best friend,_ suddenly up and vanishes? She’s sent him snaps and DM'ed him on Instagram and everything. A few pictures of homework schedules, some notes from trig, a few artist memes posted on some niche account on Instagram… but there’s no response. All she gets is radio silence.

However, Katherine can see that many of the messages had been opened. Some had even been liked.

Jack wasn't the kind to not reply, unless he was busy... or unless he was seriously going through something.

And, well. There’s no way he’s been too busy to not reply for three days straight.

It’s caused her to worry all day. She doesn't learn a thing in French class, barely touches her assignment in trig, and doesn’t even speak at the student council meeting. But, really, how can she focus on a color scheme for the spring homecoming dance when Jack Kelly is suffering through something alone just a mile away?

Had she had the nerve to get in trouble, she would have left the school to run to Jack's place during lunch, but she saves that until after seventh period. As soon as the final bell rings, though, she’s jumping out of her seat and racing through the hallway to the front entrance, preparing herself for what’s to come.

What should she even say? Should she yell at him for not responding? Should she cry and tell him how worried she’s been all week? Would that make him feel guilty? She doesn't want him to feel guilty. She wants him to feel safe and comforted, but, God, this is uncharted territory.

In seven months of dating, something like this hasn’t happened before- at least not to this scale. Sure, sometimes Jack gets angry and lashes out, and sometimes he becomes reclusive and doesn’t leave his room over the course of a weekend, but it’s never been this long… Not in years. Not since middle school.

Not since they were just friends.

Really, she should have known better than to assume Jack would be the one to open the door. Instead, once she reaches Jack’s home, which is only about a fifteen minute walk from the high school, Katherine is met face to face with Jack's adoptive mom- Medda Larkin- who is more like a parent than anyone else Jack had ever been in a home with. Katherine has heard the stories of Jack's past foster families, and not many of those stories are... good. But Medda had been a turning point for Jack, the summer before freshman year. She had been the one to help Jack contain himself, the one who turned a wild, unrestrained boy into a good man with a good head on his shoulders.

She had accepted Katherine into the family long before she and Jack even began dating, and her home had become Katherine’s safe spot when she needed to get away.

Apparently, the home holds the same function for Jack.

As Katherine notices the door open, she puts on a nervous smile and rubs her arm. “Hi, Medda,” Katherine says softly, taking in a deep breath. “Sorry I haven’t been over in a while, the prom committee has been meeting every day after school and I’ve been writing more articles for the school paper and, uh-- yeah! Um, how are you?”

Her plan to at least look more composed than she feels must not have worked, because Medda has a sympathetic smile on her face, and she gently wraps an arm around her. She pulls her in for a hug, something she does regardless of how many times Katherine comes over."I'm doing good, baby. If you're here for Jack, he's upstairs in his room," She murmurs as she pulls away, a defeated sigh leaving her lips. "He's… Well, you know how that boy gets when he doesn't have his medication."

Katherine cringes. "Is… Is that all that's going on?"

"Well," Medda starts,, stepping to the side to let Katherine walk in. She shuts the door behind her, hands on her hips as she looks toward the staircase. "There was just an issue with the prescription. His refills will be at the pharmacy in a few days, but he's been… pretty unstable. If you ask me," She pauses, thinking of how to phrase her sentence. "If you ask me, he doesn't seem quite like himself- even without the medication. There's something going on in his head and he isn't talking about it."

Ah. There it was.

Jack Kelly, the man who is always willing to lend an ear to any friend in need of a 'vent sesh' has somehow forgotten- again- that he isn't the only one willing to listen. They'd all tried to lend a shoulder to cry on- everyone, from Katherine to David to Charlie to, hell, even Sean- but Jack had this… this _thing_ against being vulnerable. A personal vendetta that even Katherine has never been able to understand.

"I… I'll go talk to him," Katherine decides with a determined nod, and gives Medda one last hug before starting toward the stairs. She knows how unpredictable Jack's mood could get without his medication, though Medda hadn't specified which he had run out of. If he had run out of his antidepressants, she was prepared to sit in a dark room and hold him until he was ready to talk. If he had run out of his anti-anxiety medication, she was prepared to sit in a dark room and hold him while he spilled his guts on everything that had been plaguing his mind for the past seventy-two hours.

Either way, she’s ready for whatever is waiting for her behind that bedroom door.

The walk upstairs simultaneously feels like five seconds and five years. Her heart is pounding in her chest. The last time anything like this had happened, Jack had spiraled into a dark place in a matter of minutes, so much so that he missed a week of freshman year and had erased all of his social media presence by the end of the day.

Before she walks down the hall, she quickly checks her phone, and--

Okay. All of his accounts are still there. That’s... good.

Still doesn't mean much.

Katherine takes a deep breath before knocking on his door, biting her lip. "Jackie? Baby, hey, it's me," She says softly, but loud enough to be heard behind the big wooden door. "Medda told me you were up here… Can I come in? We don't- We don’t have to talk about what's going on if you don't want to, I just… wanna make sure you're okay."

It takes a few long moments, but she eventually hears footsteps and the door eventually unlocks. Katherine gives him a few more moments to compose himself before she slowly opens the door, gulping at the sight of it all.

There are clothes strewn all over. The bed is a mess of sheets and blankets and what look to be a few hoodies. There are half finished canvases all over the floor, and… one bleary-eyed Jack Kelly sitting in the corner of his bed, with his back against the wall, staring blankly over the sea of clutter.

"Oh, _Jack,"_ Katherine says softly as she approaches, pulling off her heels and placing them on the ground. Once she’s able to climb up and sit next to him on the bed, she places a hand on his shoulder, and he crumples. Just as she had predicted, he maneuvers himself to lie with his head in her lap, tears streaming down his face as he stares silent at the ceiling. There's so much going on inside his head, and she can practically hear the gears turning. What brought this storm of uncertainty is a mystery, but she’s ready to be there for him no matter what.

Katherine carefully moves out from under Jack, instead lying next to him on the bed. She fixes her dress before carefully curling into his side, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest. She can feel him shaking. “Baby, if you… if you need to cry, just let it out, okay? I’m here, Jackie. You can trust me.”

There are only a few seconds between her reassurances and his first heart wrenching sob. Within seconds, Jack has Katherine in a tight grip, and all she can do is ride it out with him, be here for him, hold him until it passes- and it takes a long, long while. By the time Jack has calmed down enough to breathe, his face is red and splotchy and his eyes are dull. Katherine looks down at him with a soft frown, gently cupping his cheek as she carefully wipes his tears. “...I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere, okay? I promise. You can tell me, or- or if you don’t want to, that’s fine, too. Whatever makes you feel comfortable,” She whispers, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.

Jack nods, just barely, and takes in a deep breath. “Ju-Just… Hold m-me?”

“Of course,” Katherine nods. She’s quick to lie back down, though she gently prompts Jack to turn over. As she lies on her back, she gestures for him to lie next to her on his stomach, resting his head on her chest. He does so, curling up against her body, and she wraps an arm around him, using her free hand to gently run through his messy curls. She makes note of a few tangles in his hair. Maybe, if he’s feeling up to it, she can help him with a shower later- it wouldn’t be the first time.

Fifteen minutes of near silence, save for Jack’s labored breathing, pass between their brief conversation and Jack’s next time speaking. He gulps, clears his throat, and whispers, “Y-You can leave if you- if you want.”

Katherine’s heart aches at the implications. “I’m not leaving you alone, Jackie,” She murmurs, softly but firm in her decision. “I’ll even stay the night if you want me to. My father will kill me, but it’s worth it.”

“B-But it- it isn’t your job to baby me, Katie--”

“My job is to be a good girlfriend, Jack. I… If you want me to leave, I will, but are you telling me that I can leave because you want me to leave, or because you think I want to leave?” She asks softly, quietly, and holds her breath as she waits for a response. Instead of a response, though, Jack sits up and looks away, taking in a deep breath.

He doesn’t tell her to stay, but he doesn’t tell her to leave.

Katherine takes it as an invitation to spend as long as she needs to here.

She carefully moves to sit on her knees behind him, resting her chin on his shoulder. “Jackie… Hey, baby, how about- how about a shower? That would make you feel a little better… I- I know that seems like a lot right now, but it’ll be good for you, okay?” 

Jack considers this for a few moments, then slowly nods. “...Okay. Yeah, you- you’re probably right,” He whispers, then slowly stands up. He looks around the messy room with a few rapid breaths before wiping his eyes and walking to his dresser, grabbing the first items of clothing he can find, as well as an oversized hoodie he’d stolen from Spot and never given back.

“Do you want me to come with?” Katherine asks softly, watching him for a reaction. Usually, the answer would be an enthusiastic yes- reserved only for times when Medda isn’t home- but today, Jack just looks over at her with hollow eyes and shakes his head. She nods, a supportive smile on her face, and watches as he slowly leaves the room.

She waits until she hears the bathroom door lock to start her plan. She’s quick to climb out of bed, and begins by sorting through the laundry on the floor. She puts any dirty clothes in the hamper next to the closet and puts any clean ones into the laundry basket on the ground at the foot of Jack’s bed. If she knew where everything went, she would have folded and hung up the clean clothes, but she doubts she has time for that now. After cleaning the laundry, she carefully stacks the dry paintings on his work desk in front of the window. There’s not much else to do afterward, but she does make the bed and clean up any trash she sees- not because she feels like she has to, but because… because she feels like it can help. She doesn’t want Jack to feel alone right now, and if helping him feel more comfortable in his bedroom will help his mood, she’s more than willing to do whatever it takes.

She does change out of her dress and puts on a pair of her sweatpants that she left in the top drawer of his dresser, and puts on one of his shirts with it as well. Just for comfort’s sake.  
Katherine sits on his bed and scrolls through her Twitter feed until he walks back in about five minutes later. He’s in a pair of gray sweats now, as well as that damned hoodie, and it makes him look so… so small. So fragile. She watches as he closes the door, turning to face her and say something, but he pauses, freezes in front of the door, and looks around the room instead. “...Kath…”

“Surprise,” She says softly, biting her lip. “I, uh- I really just… cleared the floor, I didn’t know where you wanted everything… But, it looks better, right?”

Instead of responding to her comment, Jack just gulps and hides his face. “I-I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t have had to- to do tha--”

“Jackie, baby, no,” Katherine says quickly, sliding off of his bed to hurry over to him. “I’m gonna touch you, okay?” She murmurs, waiting for Jack’s nod before taking his hands and bringing them down between them. “I did this because I wanted to. Okay? I wanted to help you… What- what’s wrong? What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

Jack looks down at her, looks into her eyes, and shakes his head. “I don’t-- I don’t know,” He rasps out, and gulps hard. “I just-- Everything is so much right now, and I-... I just… I miss my mom,” Jack whispers with a guilty expression, running a hand through his damp hair.

It makes sense. He had mentioned something a few weeks ago about his mother’s birthday being soon, but Katherine hadn’t put two and two together. “Oh, baby… Did you- Did you try talking to her again?”

Jack nods, and wipes his eyes as he looks down at Katherine with a sad smile. “Mhm. Sh-She changed numbers. Blocked my social media pages,” Jack whispers, then lets out a bitter laugh. “A-And my- my caseworker, she told Momma ‘bout a month ago that- that my dad’s back in prison. Won’t get out for at least fifteen years,” He shakes his head. “Part of me still wants the day where- where we all get together and, I don’t know, have dinner, just- just so I can show ‘em everything they missed out on, but now… now they ain’t even gonna be at my fucking graduation, Katherine! They-- They won’t even talk to me!”

Katherine bites her lip. “Jack, I’m… I’m sure there’s a reason for your mom--”

“Don’t, Katherine. Just… Just don’t. Okay? Please,” Jack shakes his head, shutting his eyes hard as his hands clench at his sides. “You-- You don’t get it, you don’t understand, but don’t rub it in my goddamn face.”

Katherine blinks, then takes a step back. “Jack Kelly, I know you’re going through a lot right now, but I won’t hesitate to leave if you keep talking to me like that. Got it?”

Jack gulps. Looks her in the eyes, then takes in a deep breath and nods. “I- Yeah, yeah, I’m… I’m sorry,” He murmurs, genuine, and Katherine waits for a few moments before stepping closer. Jack reaches down and takes her hand. “...I really do appreciate you bein’ here, I just… I don’t know what I’m doin’ right now. I don’t feel… right. I shouldn’t’a taken it out on you, though.”

Katherine bites her lip. “It isn’t okay, but I forgive you. I know you can’t help it right now… But, Jackie, next time something like this happens, can you please just… let me know?”

“I’ll try,” Jack promises, and slowly steps forward. He hesitates in front of her, but slowly raises a hand to cup her cheek, leaning in to press a soft, gentle kiss to her lips. He pulls away soon, though, and rubs his arm. “If… If you, uh, don’t mind, I- I do, um, wanna talk about stuff. If you-- You don’t gotta listen if you aren’t feelin’ up to it.”

“If you have something you want to get off of your chest, then I’m all ears. Talk and cry it out, Jackie,” Katherine says as she hops onto his bed, patting the spot next to her as she leans against the wall. “And when you’re done, we can walk to the 7-11 down the street and get ice cream, and we can come back here and watch anything you want.”

“...Even Footloose?”

“Even Footloose.”

Jack smiles at that- a small win for Katherine- and climbs onto the bed, wrapping his arms around her. “I love you, ace.”

Katherine smiles as she leans against him. “I love you, too, Jay,” She whispers, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. She could live forever in this moment. She knows that they’re not out of the woods yet- she can tell that Jack is still not as stable as he could be, still struggling to keep himself together- but she’s ready and willing to coax him through the fall and help him find his footing again. “I love you, too.”


End file.
